There will always be those days where you wake up, and never want to leave your bed. That you pray for sleep or death to just take you because know because getting out of that safe place is just absolutely not in your power.

There will be times in our lives where these days happen more frequently than you expect.  But thankfully for most of us there are reasons that make us throw a leg over the edge, and place one foot on the ground. Then the next. I have two tiny little reasons. And apparently they need fed every morning.

On January 24th 2013 my husband of a little over five years was arrested. It destroyed my entire family. Or so I thought. But here I am, almost exactly 6 months later and I feel stronger than I have in years. He was arrested for lewd conduct with a minor. He hurt my son. The disgust, denial, anguish, anger, was unimaginable. I cannot possibly put into words the amount of emotions that were placed within my chest. Emotions that I am still trying to work out slowly but surely. But survival mode was activated. Numbness was my main source of energy. I literally had to run on numb.

I will spare all the gruesome details. All the horrid memories. I do not mind talking about them, but I want this to be a place of healing. A place for people to come to understand that although you may feel alone, and like this is only happening to you, it isn't. There is an entire dorm at the jail that he is housed at dedicated to these types of people.

I wish that I had started this blog earlier in my healing. I wanted to show the transformation that I have gone through. But I simply did not have the time. I went from being in a marriage (what I thought was a loving team relationship which I have reevaluated) to being a single mother of two. With one income in a matter of hours. I lost my home, and had to move in with my mother. I work full time, and trying to find sleep is a completely different story! So I am going to write this blog starting at right now. The six month mark.